SIT DOWN, SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN

I see dead rivers running dry
I see the activists who march and cry
How they cry singin'

Why must we desecrate the land
I'll tell you why
Beacuse we can that's why

Save the whales, save the seals
Save the eagle, save the bison and the beach
Why not save your breath

Save the porpoisem save the dolphin
Save the gerbil, save the racoon and the rat
Why not save some stamps

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I walk erect
See the cheetah, oh so supple lean and quick
as he chases a gazelle
But he can't drive a car
At least not very far

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can pay for sex

"Hey there's a great show on Discovery
Channel tonight
the history of the badger."
"Hmm, I wonder what badger tastes like?"
"I don't know, probably tastes like a ferret."
"Wow, you've had a ferret?"
"Yeah"
"What's it taste like?"
"Chicken."

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can wipe my ass

"What gives mankind the right to kill at will?"
"I'll tell you what, guns.
Big fuckin' guns with giant fucking bullets pal."

I am a human, I'm a goddamn human being
I can shave my balls

Elvis and I order Domino's Pizza with extra cheese
Suckin' down formula 44D
Elvis and I put on diapers and extra sheer panyhose
We never argue or overdose

He says, "Do I look fat to you?"
I say, "No King, it's not true.
You look like you just have very big bones."
And then he fires a .44 into the television.

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I put on big belts and drive down to
Burger King
He lets me croon and I let him steer
Elvis and I fry up demorol tablets and bacon grease
Torkin' down microwave tacos and beer

He says, "I don't wanna be on no stamp man."
I say "King, I understand."
He says, "My mama should be on the stamp man."
And then he fires his .44 into the television

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I

Elvis and I chop up onions and methamphetamines
We cook 'em up with some peanut butter and cheese
Elvis and I call up cadillac dealerships all night long
Suckin' down NyQuil stingers and cheese

He says, "What the hell is Lisa Marie thinking,
with that Michael Jackson crap?
She should have married Janet or LaToya or Tito or
even Mahalia Jackson."

Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I
Elvis and I

Life's gonna suck when you grow up,
when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty
bad right now

Hey, if you know the lyrics, sing along!

You're gonna have to mow the lawn, do the dishes,
make your bed
You're gonna have to go to school until you're seventeen
It's gonna seem about three times as long as that
You might have to go to wat, shoot a hun, kill a nun
You might have to war when you get outta school
Hey cheer up kids, it gets a lot worse
You're gonna have to deal with stress, deal with stress,
deal with stress
You're gonna be a giant mess when you get back from the war

Santa Claus does not exist, and there is no Easter Bunny
You'll find out when you grow up that Big Bird isn't funny

Life's gonna suck when you grow up, when you grow up,
when you grow up
Life's gonna suck when you grow up, it sucks pretty bad
right now

You're gonna end up smoking crack, on your back,
face the fact
You're gonna end up hooked on smack and then you're
gonna die

And then you're gonna die